This information is created by and presented with permission from ADL-Anti Defamation League. 

Table Talk: Family Conversations About Current Events provides parents and family members with the tools they need to engage their families in conversations about important news stories and other timely discussions about societal and world events. Each guide includes a topic summary, questions to start the conversation and dig deeper, ideas for taking action and additional resources.

This page is a preview of the resource to provide an overview of topic addressed. While intended for parents, these guides and the ideas in them can be modified to support meaningful discussions in school, youth group and synagogue settings.

Access entire "What Bullying Is and Is Not" discussion resource including guiding questions, action ideas and more here.
 
Topic Summary
Bullying is a phrase we hear regularly and often: in the media, on TV shows and movies, in schools and in conversations among both adults and children. Parents, students and schools are rightfully worried about bullying. It is a problem and cause for concern but may not be as widespread as many think because the term “bullying” is often used as an umbrella to describe all kinds of mean behavior—from a rude comment to a conflict between two people to a one-time physical altercation. In the U.S., 22% of students age 12-18 report being bullied at school and 28% of young people will experience cyberbullying over the course of their lifetime.

Bullying is defined as follows:

The repeated actions or threats of action directed toward a person by one or more people who have or are perceived to have more power or status than their target in order to cause fear, distress or harm. Bullying can be physical, verbal, psychological or any combination of these three.

Here’s a definition to use for younger, elementary age children:

When a person or a group behaves in ways—on purpose and over and over—that make someone feel hurt, afraid or embarrassed.

It is important to distinguish bullying from other unkind, mean and harmful behavior. Calling someone a name or pushing someone once, being rude or having an argument with someone is not bullying. Of course, these behaviors should be addressed but may have different consequences and interventions, which is why the distinction is critical. To be defined as bullying, all three components must be present: (1) repeated actions or threats, (2) a power imbalance and (3) intention to cause harm. If bullying is identified correctly, there are various ways to address it.

Many bullying incidents can be described as “identity-based,” which is any form of bullying related to characteristics that are part of a person’s identity or perceived identity group, such as race, religion, disability, immigration status, sexual orientation, gender identity, physical appearance, etc. Because identity-based bullying targets who the student is—a core part of their identity—it can be especially harmful. It impacts not only the individual student but everyone else around them who identifies in the same way and who worries that they may be the next target. In discussing identity-based bullying with young people, it’s important to make the point that bullying happens because of an aggressor’s bias, not because of the target’s identity.

Because a great deal bullying takes place when and where adults aren't around and because young people increasingly (as they get older) don’t report bullying to adults, it is especially important to help young people learn how to be an ally which includes: supporting targets, not participating, telling aggressors to stop, informing a trusted adult, not judging people and getting to know them and being an ally online.