Chaverut—friendship is highly valued in Judaism. We are taught that our friendships can be like a relationship with G-d. A chaver, a friend, has many connotations: comrade, associate, partner, companion, and colleague. As Jacob Neusner in Fellowship in Judaism notes, “Friendship must be understood as a tentative … step towards a meaningful and creative use of the space between birth and death that each person knows as life.” Our friendships are what define much of our lives, and these relationships enable us to encounter G-d every day. Philosopher Martin Buber argued that every encounter we have is as if it were an encounter with G-d. As such, friendship is a holy and sacred task. Friends offer each other help, loyalty, protection, support, unselfish love, and moral guidance.

Judaism also teaches that we should strive to make friends out of our enemies. In fact, it is our own conduct that results in us becoming enemies with others. As such, our actions can determine whether we are friend or foe. Tradition stresses that we should treat others with kavod—respect, and should refrain from insulting others, talking negatively about others, or deceiving others. As such, we should strive for shalom ben adam l’chavero—peace between people. While shalom frequently refers to peace for the world, it can also connote peaceful relations between people. This is achieved by acting with loving kindness—g’milut chasadim and showing compassion for others.

Therefore, as we learn from Avot d’Rabbi Natan 23:1, a selection from our rabbinic literature, the greatest leader is the person that makes an enemy his friend. If we honor our friend as dearly as we honor ourselves, and if we show compassion for every relationship we have, trust can form and common ground can emerge.

Questions for Reflection

1. How is talking to G-d like talking to a friend?
2. How do friends help make life experiences more meaningful?
3. What does it mean to act with loving kindness?
4. How can you strive to have peaceful relationships? What actions of g’milut chasadim can help you maintain shalom ben adam l’chavero (peace between you and others)?
5. How can you incorporate the value of chaverut in your life and within the classroom?

End each school day with the song “Shalom Chaverim.” Additionally, sing this song in moments of tension or conflict to help children remember that when disagreements arise, we are still friends and can use our words to restore peace. Kind Words of the Day: At the end of each school day, a student is selected and classmates are to provide one compliment or kind word about him or her.

Enemy Pie
Materials

• Copy of Enemy Pie 
• Pictures of children playing together and displaying qualities of friendship, and images of children that are in conflict or frustrated 
• Ingredients for “friendship pies”

Technology

• After the Story: Barney Friendship song: http://youtu.be/z6VIaZ-eCQQ 
• Animation of the story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKK1QTkYO9Q

Introducing The story

Introduce the word shalom and ask students to tell you what they know about it. To help foster an understanding of the concept of peace, show students pictures of children playing together and being friends. Talk about how friends should treat one another. Then show images of children who look like they are fighting or in conflict. Try to choose images that are rich with cues that display emotion. Ask children to identify what the children might be experiencing and imagine scenarios that might cause those feelings. Then brainstorm ideas that would help the children in the image feel better. Ask them to categorize the images as pictures with shalom and without shalom.

Show the front cover of the book Enemy Pie and read the title. Ask the students, “What is an enemy? How is an enemy different from a friend?” Can students think of “enemies” in others stories they have read? Can students think of “friends” in other stories they have read?

Have children focus on the cover illustration using the questions from the Visual Thinking Strategy. (See Appendix.) Ask the following questions: What do you think is happening? What makes you say that? What else can we find? (Guide them in looking at the ingredients in the pie as well as ask questions to determine why someone might want to create an “enemy pie.”) Then read the story to find out!

Reading The Story

Read the story aloud, stopping when appropriate to explore illustrations, address comments, clarify, predict, and guide students’ understanding of the story and the values of friendship—chaverut, to make peace—shalom, and to act with loving kindness—g’milut chasadim.

Ask the following questions:

• Why was the narrator angry with Jeremy Ross? 
• What would you add to an “enemy pie”? 
• Why do you think spending the day playing together helped them to become friends? 
• When did you know that the two boys were becoming friends? 
• What acts of kindness did the father show the children? 
• What if someone did mean things to you—what would you do?

After The Story

Do a “whip-around.” Go around the circle and ask each student to respond to the following “What if...?”:

• What if the little boy hadn’t spent the day with Jeremy Ross? How might the story have been different? 
• What if a classmate doesn’t want to play with you—what could you do? How can you solve this challenge? (As appropriate, reinforce the following concepts: “To make a friend, be a friend,” “Turn an enemy into a friend,” “Show acts of kindness” etc.) 

Work together to make an edible “friendship pie.”

• List the qualities that make a good friend. Next to each quality list an ingredient that could be used to represent each quality in the making of an edible “friendship pie.” 
• Send home a list of items asking parents to bring in the ingredients mentioned in class (for example, marshmallows, candy kisses and hugs, fresh fruit, or other decorations). 
• On the day your class will be creating friendship pies, bring in several small pies. (This can be as simple as using instant pudding and ready-made pie crusts.) 
• Allow students to decorate their pies in small groups. 
• Allow each group to sample each of the friendship pies. 
• Share friendship pie with students in another class to demonstrate an act of loving kindness.
• Watch the video of Enemy Pie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKK1QTkYO9Q. Do a whip-around, asking “What is one thing you remember from the story?” (As appropriate, remind them of the values of friendship, peace, and acts of loving kindness.)
  
  

FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS Fine Motor Skills, Art
Set up a station to create friendship bracelets or friendship necklaces. Provide items such as yarn, lanyard string, large plastic shaped hearts, and beads (sufficiently large enough so students can’t “eat” them). Once bracelets or necklaces are completed, put them in a special box from which each student (eyes closed) can select one and proudly wear to remind them of how special friendship is.

FRIENDSHIP SONG Music and Movement
Play one of the friendship songs below, encouraging students to sing along and dance to the tune. On a large piece of paper, draw a picture of a whole pie. Ask students, “What makes a good friend?” (Remind them to think about the song they just sang and the book, Enemy Pie, that they just read.) Write responses into the pie. After all the children have had a chance to answer the question, cut up the pie and make sure each student gets a piece of it.

“Barney Friendship Song”: http://youtu.be/z6VIaZ-eCQQ
“The More We Get Together”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lldmkrJXQ-Ehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyJ-M7v-UcE

PLAY IT AGAIN
In the story Enemy Pie, spending a day playing together helped forge a friendship. Have students bring a favorite board or card game to class. At different times throughout the year, allow students to play these games, which may include Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Go Fish, checkers, etc. Encourage students to teach their “buddies” a game they may not have played before and pair accordingly. (Great for those rainy days!)
The following websites offer additional game suggestions for young children: http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/friendship-games-kids-play-11803.html http://www.ehow.com/way_5512570_friendship-games-kids-play.html

FRIENDSHIP PUZZLE
Pair children with students in the class who they socialize with the least. Take a picture of the two “friends.” Print up the photograph to an 8x10 size. Glue the picture on sturdy cardstock. Make sure the picture lies flat. When the glue dries, create your own puzzle pieces on the back of the cardboard. Use a sharp pair of scissors or a blade to cut out the puzzle pieces. Place each puzzle in a plastic bag. Give the puzzle to the pairs of students and have them work as friends to put the puzzle pieces back together.

FRIENDSHIP DANCE
Play any music that has a friendship theme (see MUSIC section) or you can use songs with a friendship theme. Have students hold hands to form a circle. Select two students to be in the circle. These students will dance to the music holding hands. When the music stops, each student will invite another student to be their “friend” to dance with. Continue until all students are paired up and dancing together.

COME AND GO WITH SHALOM!
With the help of your students, create a mosaic sign or a doormat for your classroom with the word Shalom—Peace, in both Hebrew and English. Remind students when they enter and leave the classroom of the importance of shalom. Encourage students to add illustrations and photographs that represent ways they are “living” the value.

FRIENDSHIP DAY
As a class, plan a special celebratory day called “Friendship Day.” Create comfortable spaces, participate in fun games, have a show and tell, or even have students invite a special friend to the celebration. An added Jewish element could be greeting students with special blessings or have a festive meal and recite appropriate brachot. Check out the following website for additional appropriate preschool activities that emphasize chaverut: http://www.everythingpreschool.com/themes/friendship/art.htm.

List of All Songs

Gonna Make Peace

by Miss Emily Aronoff Teck

Inspiration Text

“May The One who makes peace in high places make peace upon us” - found in the Sim Shalom blessing of the Amidah

Activity

“Gonna Make Peace” Activity
Ask students the following questions:

• What does the word peace mean?
• What parts of your life or our world need more peace? 
• What can you do about increasing peace when you grow up? 
• What can you do about increasing peace today?

Show students this project made by elementary-age kids at Temple Emanu-El in Palm Beach Island: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpYXSsVY7C8. Introduce the video by directing attention to the action words of the song. For example, “We are going to watch a short movie created by Jewish children who share a lot of things in common with you. They made this movie using this song to share their ideas about the good work they could help do in their world. I wonder if you could do some of the same things that they want to try …”

After viewing, ask students to recollect the ideas shared by the children and then add more ideas. When students perform these actions, commend them on their work. For example, “Wow! I admire the way you’re using kind words to talk to each other. You’re helping make the world a more peaceful place.” Or “Thanks for making the world a more peaceful place by comforting a friend.”

Have students brainstorm ideas regarding how they can fix the world today. Collect the ideas, displaying them in a visible location (for example, on a whiteboard, smart board, or poster) and write them in short phrases that include a verb and noun. Ask students to choose a goal to illustrate. Give each child a page and then bind his or her art into a book, display it as a bulletin board, or make it into a slideshow. Let the illustrations guide the class as they sing their own version of the song. Sing the song, inserting their goals into the melody in place of “make peace.” Sing as many turns of the song, in this way, as there are ideas. Consider making your own presentation like the above video.

Lyrics

Lyrics
We’re gonna make peace in this world, peace in this world, peace in this world.
We’re gonna share love in this world, love in this world, love in this world.
We’re gonna pray for this world, pray for this world, pray for this world.
Please G-d, make peace in this world, peace in this world, peace in this world.

Oseh Shalom, Bimromav hu yaaseh shalom aleinu. (x2)

Additional Music Connections

Children are able to verbalize the importance of friendship.
Children demonstrate acts of friendship during interactions at school.
Children use words to help bring peace between friends who are in disagreement.

RECIPE FOR FRIENDSHIP
Create a take-home story bag with journal book. In the bag include the story Enemy Pie and directions for filling in the journal. In the journal, ask each family to include a recipe for a “friendship pie” to share with the class.

LOVING KINDNESS HOMEWORK
Give children a “homework” assignment of performing an extra act of loving kindness for a family member. Brainstorm with the class examples that might be appropriate, and check in with the class the following day to discover what they did, how it made them feel, and how their family member reacted.

* PJ library Books